Friday, April 11, 2014

Hate List

Seth is normally a very laidback guy. He never gets mad, he rarely gets annoyed, he is just a happy go-lucky kind of person.
But there are a few things that make him genuinely angry. Are they normal things, like poverty and injustice and evil?
No. They are not. They are:

1. Left-turn red arrows instead of blinking yellow arrows. Every time we have to sit at one of these I get the long explanation about what a time-waster this is, how it would be more efficient if we had the option to turn, why haven't they replaced all of them yet, blah blah blah. Every time.

2. Front-row Joe. (This is my favorite.) Front-row Joe is a cartoon cat that the Provo Dollar Theater uses to promote their concession stand and remind people to turn off their cellphones. And Seth HATES HIM. I still haven't figured out why. And I probably never will.

3. The phrase "I could care less." The correct way to say it (I know now, thanks to Seth) is "I couldn't care less." I think maybe his level of hatred for this phrase wouldn't have developed so much except for the fact that every time he launched into a tirade on the subject, everyone's response would be "I could care less." ("Everyone" includes myself, of course.)

4. Jared, The Galleria of Jewelry. Because there is no s at the end of the name to show possession. He took me to Jared when we went engagement ring shopping and spent most of the time muttering under his breath about the missing s. We did not buy my ring from there.

5. Morning radio talk shows. I dread driving anywhere with him before 10am. I know, Seth, I know. Just turn your ipod on already.

You can see the malice glittering in his eyes, can't you?

5 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. Jared is my favorite. That is annoying and I will always notice it now... I wish Stuart's hate list only had 5 things on it. Hahaha. He's passionate.

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  2. I HATE "JO-ANNE FABRICS". Why don't they have an "S" at the end of their name?

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  3. Yeah I was about to post that the Jared one was my favorite and I think its funny to see that both comments are about just that one. I don't know if you posted this wrong or if Seth is not an English major for a reason but in this case I could care less is correct and I couldn't care less is wrong. Because if someone is talking you could care...less. If you say you cannot care less, you are implying you care more than less....sounds like Seth is just particular about the details of a lot of some things too!

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  4. Oh wow I just looked that up and there are a lot of people who take it to mean I couldn't care "at all" instead of "less" and I could care less is hated because it means I could care "at all" interesting. at least I found links that advocate both ways though I guess im odd in thinking could care LESS sounds more logical than not caring less than what ought to be cared.

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  5. This list is hilarious. I actually really don't care for the blinking yellow arrows. When it comes to driving, I prefer being told exactly what to do. I also hate roundabouts, especially for freeway on and off ramps. Hate.

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