Seth and the Magic Banana

My younger brother David just e-mailed this to me.

He actually composed this quite some time ago and called Seth and I up to recite it over the phone (because of course Seth was the inspiration for this story).

And I have to tell you, the written version pales in comparison to that performance.

But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Seth and the Magic Banana

 

        Seth: I think i will change the world today!

 

        Angry Grandma:Whatever! You never do anything you lazy worthless, cocky...

 

        Seth: Bye!

 

        Narrator: And so Seth set out to do good deeds... but he had only begun 

 

       Creepy Merchant:Hey kid... wanna buy a MAGIC banana?

 

       Seth: Me?

 

        Creepy Merchant: Yes you!

 

       Seth: Yes!!!!!!!!!! Wait... is it healthy?

 

         Creepy Merchant: Um.....yes?

 

         Seth:Sweet! (takes banana)

 

        Creepy Merchant: (mumbles) sucker.

 

                                                               Chapter 2: The Magic Revealed

 

           Seth: Hmmmm..... What should i do with this banana?

 

          Angry Grandma: Oh i don't know... EAT IT!

 

           Seth: No way. The merchant said it was magic! So I'll plant it in the ground and see what happens.

 

         Angry Grandma:Whatever!

 

          Narrator:   Several days later Seth dug up the banana

 

          Seth: Aw man... I guess it's just a normal banana.

 

          Seth:Oh well.... I'm hungry! (eats banana)

 

          Narrator: Several weeks later this happened!

 

           Seth: AH! A McDonald's delivery truck headed straight for me! ( ducks and sticks hand out when small projectiles fly from his hand)

 

          Seth: were those ninja stars?

 

          Seth: (after a closer look) Holy Crap! They are banana slices!

 

                                                                 Chapter  3: The Rise of Banana Boy

 

             Narrator: later on Seth adopted a new name and dis covered a new power

 

             Seth: Wow a banana web!

 

             Narrator: And so,  after discovering his powers and rubbing it in his grandmas face banana boy (Seth) Protected the town and brought down evil doers

 

 

                                                                           THE END

Rock Climbing

Seth and I went to North Carolina to see his family for half of our Christmas Break.

While we were there we went rock climbing.

Pretty much all of Seth's family rock climbs, and they have been doing so for years. They even have a lot of their own gear. Before this event, I think the extent of my rock climbing experience was watching other people do it on those portable walls at the carnival.

The Pro.

(Seth was even on a rock climbing team in high school.)

I could tell I was out of my element because they started using lingo that I did not understand. Things like "oh this wall is easy because it's mostly buckets" or "I learned using the figure-8 belay device, i don't like these atc's as much."

Luckily for me my SIL came and she had never been rock climbing before either. We stuck together.

This picture was taken after getting all the way to the top on my first wall.

You see, I'm smiling because this is just seconds BEFORE I realized I was way high up and I would have to voluntarily let myself fall to get back down. I hated this part. Granted, there was a rope, and I wasn't going to fall to my death. But I don't like heights. And I don't like falling from them, rope or not.

Once Seth let the rope out so fast I fell on my butt.

I was not happy with him.

But I did pretty well in the end, although that may only be because I stuck to the easiest walls.

I used muscles I didn't know I had.

And my body really hated me the next day.

But at least now I have the climbing experience and the lingo down.

So next time we get together with the Winsors and go rock climbing, I will understand them when they say,

"Oh you can try bouldering on this wall."

Update

Seth was wrong.

We drove to Home Depot and they had a lovely big selection of o-rings for us to purchase.

So we bought some, took them home, installed it in both water taps on the kitchen sink just for good measure, and thought our problems were over.

Except that our problems are never over in this house.

Turns out the reason the screw ripped the little o-ring to shreds in the first place is because it is the wrong screw. And it would not fit with our new o-ring.

We were not very happy with the people who did that who knows how many years previous to us having to fix their mistake.

So what we did (I keep saying we like I actually had anything to do with the fixing. My parts include: driving to Home Depot with Seth and chronicling it on our blog. That's it.) is install the o-ring, put the screw on as best we could, and then left it alone. As long as we don't try to turn on the cold water tap (and Seth left the little handle off to make sure we didn't in a moment of forgetfulness) the water doesn't leak out of it. He's going to try and find a replacement screw to maybe fix it better.

Which I suppose is better than replacing our whole sink.

And at least our water is turned on now.

Hooray.

Yesterday

I know what hell is going to be like.

You will be traveling through airports ALL DAY LONG.

You will be sick.

There are no places for you to lie down because airport chairs all have those metal armrests.

Medicine will do nothing for you.

And you will never make it home to your bed.

Hell.

Luckily I did make it home. But I still couldn't get into my bed because it was freezing in my house. You could see your breath.

So we dropped off our stuff, turned on the heater, and promptly left for Taco Bell and Costco. It was somewhat warmer when we returned.

None of our canned food froze and burst. None of our pipes froze. Everything seemed fine...

Until we turned the water on.

That's when we realized the cold water tap in the kitchen sink would not shut off.

Seth could probably explain this better than me, but I'll give it a shot.

There is a little rubber gasket inside the tap that makes sure no water can come out through the faucet when we turn it off. This one was held in place by a little screw. I guess over time the screw had started getting looser and looser due to the tap being opened and closed and taken apart and such. Before we left we turned our water off and opened up the tap all the way so as to get rid of any extra water in the pipes. I guess this was the final straw because it came completely unscrewed. The next time we tried to use it (last night) the screw just ripped into the the rubber o-ring and tore it to shreds. Now even though we turned it off, water was still coming out.

So we left it on long enough for us to use the bathroom and get ready for bed, then turned the water off again.

Seth had class at 8am this morning. He gets back at 10 and then we are going to run out and see if we can find an identical rubber gasket to replace the old one with.

Seth doesn't think they really sell them anymore. They'd rather sell you the whole sink.

If this is true, that means we have to get a new kitchen sink.

Yikes.

I haven't taken a shower. I haven't used the bathroom. I haven't brushed my teeth (though I will shortly since I just remembered we have a bottle of water).

And I really need to do all of these things. I smell like sickness.

*Sigh*

I guess our break is over.

Differences

The longer I'm married to Seth the more I realize how different we are.

Especially when it comes to our family habits.

Take the bathroom, for instance.

I never realized this growing up, but none of the bathroom door locks have ever worked in my houses. Not in Virginia or Arizona.

So the standard rule in my house is, if the bathroom door is shut, knock first because chances are someone is in there. If it's open, you may enter.

Seth's bathroom doors always locked. You just walked in. The only reason you couldn't get in was if the door was locked. When Seth first started visiting at my houses, he lived in constant fear that one of my family members would walk in on him because he couldn't lock the bathroom door.

He complained about this to me today. I hadn't even realized it was a problem. I laughed at him.

And I know it's weird to talk about bathrooms. My sister Katie just informed me of this obvious fact.

I have about a million pictures and a million stories of our Christmas Break so far but I think I'll end this post with just a hint of what's to come.

You'll probably be hearing stories about our break for the next month or so. . . .